Tag Archive: Fear

The Mystery Of Full Moon!!!

Success can be skeptical….It raises beyond the far boundaries of Human imagination…We keep running behind it only to realize later that “SUCCESS”-this seven letter word does not come easy to anyone…I realized it quite late in my life…But the most important thing is that Experiences teach us Things that No Book In this world can ever do…

I would not say,that I was some great scholar or genius(or anything comparable to Einstein or Newton material)…But having the required percentile for Science Group had actually narrowed down all my options…I was confused…Utterly confused about what to do about my Life…I was on absolute dead end…Having passed out from the safe confines of School life (which I still miss very much…Because School was like Second home to me:( )…Suddenly I found myself in world with all unfamiliar faces…Before I could register in the shock of being hassled into the Science group(which I absolutely loathed)…Two years were gone…I was so lost in those two years trying to comprehend with the changes in my SO-CALLED-NEW-COLLEGE-LIFE,that I almost forgot what studies meant(literally speaking,I lost my mind)…The only thing that I learned in those years was what PEER PRESSURE IS…Trying to stick my nose behind the most talented and biggest Geniuses from the city…I could not carve my own niche….I felt like outcast…

I was constantly compared to the Innumerable brains in my class…I need to say this,that Comparison in no way is encouraging…They just make you ponder all the more about your capabilities and make you wish that you were not what you are…But were someone extraordinary…Someone out of this world…You wish for that magic wand which will swipe out all your problems with one stroke…But reality strikes in hard way…Success counts on HARD WORK…No magic can complement our own ability…The only problem is that we as individuals are not aware of our own abilities…We give too easily to peer pressure..try to mold ourselves like the others….In this process…We lose the “Real Person” that we are…We disappoint not others but ourselves!!!!

Hmm…so the completion of those two years did not bring joy..But only bought in more agony…The agony of my FUTURE PROSPECT…Because I was at loggerheads…Now I had two options…Either to listen to what my parents had selected for me or decide my own future course on my own…But did I have the guts to stick to my own guns…The worst thing in life is being uncertain about the “Things that you REALLY WANT in your life” and “Things that you don’t”…I too was unsure…Of whether I should listen to my parents or my Heart…I choose the course which excited me…..rather the one that my parents had chosen….But only making the right choice doesn’t count….You need to make things work….That was where I went wrong….I thought my responsibility ended with taking the decision….What a Fool I was!!!!

Three years down the line…Again I proved to be utter failure….What utter shame,my parents thought….They found this opportunity very enticing to point out…that I had made the decision of choosing profession that they never thought was good enough for me…..Again I did not know where to head from here….Life seemed a puzzle…where I had complicated things for myself…I did not understand the intriguing complexities of the Book called “LIFE”….Pondering around with questions in mind…..with no answers….I sat on my the rooftop….Staring at the night sky….and  looked for around for answers to all the questions in my life….

That was when I realized that the answers to my questions was right there hanging majestically in the sky…..THE FULL MOON…from the time I was a kid,I had been enchanted with the beauty of the moon…But I never knew that the moon held answers to my questions…There it was shining in the sky in all its glory….mesmerizing me as always…

As a child…I had always fantasized about the Moon…..Like any normal kid…I would keep staring the at the moon from the window while traveling and wonder….Why is the Moon following are trail???……At times,I used to ponder why the moon keeps on becoming small and small until it finally vanished from the sky ….There might be quite scientific lot of scientific reasons available for these childish questions….But the only fact that has not changed in all these years is that I still very much love the moon….The glow and beauty of the Full Moon is unprecedented….Nothing can stand up to it….May it is the best example of beauty which despite not being completely flawless…strikes out as the imagination of many poets and their poems…. But never had I thought that the moon stands as  the answer to dilemma….

I was just siting and watching the full moon glow in all its glory…when I suddenly remembered that just few days back the moon was just half the size it is now…But then now it has grown to its full size….This just made me realize that the two most important lessons in my life-

1)Nothing in this world is persistent forever….The moon has to complete 14 days cycle to regain its past beauty once it passes its last quarter phase and ends up being invisible on the New Moon….That day,the New Moon became a symbol of bad endings for me…..Like all good things do come to an end…all bad things do so…Whenever one way closes…another way opens up….There is no such thing as dead end in this world….Everything is just a periodical cycle going through phases of LIFE….

2) Secondly that like the Moon declines in shape and then comes back to its full size….Ups and downs are certain in life….But it will never be like that you will only have down fall….You can rise above the problems…Only that Inner Fire is needed…which will drive you all the  way to the top…..Determination is required….well,it is known fact that those few baby steps will always be required before you finally learn to  walk on your own…..

So,I got back again….Almost like the phoenix from the ashes…This time I was determined to make something out of my life….Two years down the line,now I’m PhD research scholar…. I’m thank full enough to myself for sticking to my own decisions rather than giving up to my parents choice or getting sucked up in peer pressure….I don’t regret my past decisions now…..Because finally I made something out of my life and made  my parents proud as well…Today,I’m at the place where I have the liberty to choose the way I wana live my life….So the only advise…(actually advise sounds so cliched)so I guess this should be a humble request more so over to all my friends….that please don’t ignore the pleas of your heart…No matter where you go…and what you do and what you are….Your heart will always know know what is right for you…Be unique in yourself…Never give to the ball game of Peer pressure….Do that which suits you best….Because in the end…Your so called friend from whom you may feel major complex may be the most popular or the most successful….But he or she can never be YOU!!!!!….LOVE THYSELF AND THE WORLD WILL RESPECT YOU!!!!!…..Because the world respects only those few who have the vision and the guts to stick to their own conventions and rules….:)

©Krishnaveni Balasubramanian

Most of us have experienced fear at some point of time in our Life…Some have a fear for water and are called “Hydrophobic”…Some fear heights and are called “Acrophobic”…The list is endless and so are the many dimensions of fear…There might no Man alive who didn’t have fear…Because from my point of view…”Everyone should have HEALTHY fear”…Now you might think as to how fear can be healthy…Let me illustrate some incidents from my Life which have taught me to respect fear(and also made me learn how to overcome them as well)…

But before that,We should know what this word “Fear” actually means???….According to the Dictionary,Fear has been defined as “An emotion experienced in anticipation of some specific pain or danger (usually accompanied by a desire to flee or fight)”….Now I really don’t know about the flight thing….But I’m very sure of the FLEE thing!!!…Because most of the times,I find the FLEE option very enticing to use…instead of facing the fear…Until….Of course,Some day I’m left with no other option but to FACE IT….That to….Headstraight:(

So here is list of all the Fears that I faced in my Life…On how I overcame them…How’s the “Healthy Bug” involved-
1) The Fear Of Fire
The biggest possible reason of why I’m very bad cook…is my Fear for Fire….which is called as Arsonphobia(at times I feel the phobic terms used for each Fear is more frightening than the fear itself:D)…Actually,I didn’t have first hand experience of this phobia till I entered my Chemistry Laboratory in school…We had to light a matchstick for an experiment and that was when…I was hysteric,because Fire would drive my nerves crazy….Even after my arduous efforts at trying to light matchstick…without getting my fingers burned in the process…I failed miserably…But I did not have the option to stay for all my lifetime with this phobia…Because we had chemistry practicals exams in the next week…A week’s notice!!!!

Way of Escape-So I did what I always did for my Exams…Made my Mom sit with me and tried to light as many matchsticks as I could…Trying to get control on my shivering hands…I won’t say that I succeeded much at that…But at least,I learned how to light matchstick,by getting better control on my nerves(making sure that I did not blast the lab)…After all these years,now that I have to use fire in lab on daily basis for all microbiological work…I don’t get any goosebumps as such…I’m not still very good cook…But at least,I can cook something decent enough without setting the kitchen on fire…

Healthy Bug– It’s good that as kid,I was afraid of fire…Because I’m such naughty kid..that I might have just set the gas stove on for fun…But the fear persisted me from at least going anywhere near the gas stove til I was old enough to know the consequences…Thanks to my fear…I’m still alive(so are others at my home!!!)

2) The Fear For Crawling and Creeping Creatures on Planet Earth
This fear stems from my absolute hatred for all creatures that creep and crawl(including cockroaches,lizards,millipedes,centipedes and rats)….Every creatures that drives me up the wall…shouting and screeching…The phobia is called Entomophobia (this phobic term is at the most in sync with the fear itself)…
I had mostly leave the job of driving these things out to my Dad…who always felt that it was his birth right to kill these pests and make our Home…Pest free Zone!!!

I would not have the dare to face these creepy crawly pests…Until I had no other option left…I was alone in my Hostel room for study holidays…That was when,One fine evening,I found my nightmare…Right in my cupboard…Siting there in royal posture like King!!!….A large Garden Lizard!!!….I freaked out like anything…I had stayed in harmony for many years with lizards at home…Keeping as much distance from them as possible….I would have left this one as well…But it was happily chewing into my food supplies…and I was not particularly excited at having Garden lizard as a room mate…

(Frankly this is not my Dog…I just downloaded this picture…Because the Lizard was just as big as the one on this Dog’s back)

Way Of Escape-Then I had to do the inevitable…Drive Mr.Bossy out all on my own…I took the only help available then…Broomstick…Tried to drag it out from my cupboard…But being garden Lizard…Not only was it more Big in Size…But also more sticky…So it won’t give up easily…Already,I was sweating like I was in Hell(thinking of the possibility that what if this beast jumped on me)…So I dragged it with all the force that I could apply…At last,it came off…So I just pushed it off the window and shut it closed…So that no garden lizard again found its way into my cupboard(most importantly near my food supplies:( )

Healthy Bug-It’s good that I was afraid of lizards…Because that day after driving it out…I realized one more time…That until You FACE Your fear…It is going to haunt you all your life…Making you a Big time Phobic…Fear can only be overcome By seeing it eye to eye (although I won’t say that seeing lizard’s eye is such a good option)….But at least,now I won’t stand having those crawling creatures in my room…Although….Of course,I still don’t have my Dad’s guts to kill them….But I guess there are more peaceful ways to survival:)….

This age has seen the rise of technology…and bigger part of it was associated with Communication…In good old days…The only ways were letters,money orders (love letters being strictly reserved for pigeons)…and most recently Emails…But progress bought with it a massive phenomenon…Which is called as “FACEBOOK”….Anytime you login…You will always find your friends there…The only problem being that many of them may be people whom you haven’t met in you whole life….But now Facebook has become more than way of Life..It has become an ADDICTION….The worst thing being…that I’m big time Addict!!!

Despite the fact,that I’m well aware of the ill effects that FOS causes like any other dangerous disease…In fact I can very well see the signs and symptoms,which I had like to share with you all-
1) Sudden urge to login and check news feed(as if the world would end and you won’t even know about it,if you didn’t check the feed)
2)Updating your status every hour and then checking out,if anyone has commented on your status,almost 60 times.
3)Chatting with friends almost for whole day(But when you meet them personally…all you have to say is simple Hi or Hello)
4)Posting all your family trips pictures and waiting for comments(until some one from your family sees them…and holds you responisible for spoiling their “VIRTUAL” image on facebook!!!)

Now you all must be wondering about what is fear associated with Facebook…Well..the fear is of having the stigma of not being “NET-SAVVY AND OLD FASHIONED”…if you are not on Facebook…Then you are most backward and illiterate person on Planet Earth…To be in sync with recent trends and to get yourself called as “all knowing”…You have to part of FACEBOOK…

Way Of Escape-There is absolutely no escape from this fear…Until we get control on our mindset…We have to accept the fact that being on social website doesn’t improve our social image…But damages it all the more…Because all those futile hours before computer….Could be properly utilized somewhere else…Instead of being stuck online with friends…Why not make that extra effort…Just shut down that computer,catch up with all your friends OFFLINE…plan trip where you can experience the Real beauty of Nature and feel the touch of fresh breeze…than trapping yourself in this virtual world,which just keeps you far away from the real world…and the REAL lively people in it….

So…what would you prefer…Trekking in some Green forests like the one on the left or Going for walk on the beach with your loved one’s….or just keep on staring on the blank screen in between…I had prefer the Treks…What about you???

Healthy Bug-There is nothing good about this Fear…But if you overcome this,surely it will be good…I can’t say anything more about this…because I have myself not overcome this fear….The process still continues….But one day,I’m sure that I’ll will succeed in getting over this fear as well…Because living without a social network is obviously less scary than Fire and Lizards:P….When I can get over them….I can surely get over “Facebook Obsession Syndrome” as well….Hope you all will also be successful in overcoming all your fears….Because beyond that fear,There is the joy of satisfaction….That ultimately,You are no more PHOBIC!!!!

©Krishnaveni Balasubramanian

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