Tag Archive: People


Arundhati

There have been very few movies which have been able to leave back their impression on my mind….I’m big time movie freak…But there are very few movies which have kept me tied up to my seat till the very end…This may be due the fact that I never watch movies for the namesake of the actors and actresses….I have no favorites…If I watch a movie,its purely because the story must be captivating enough to divert my attention from all my important works….Arundhati is one such movie…..

The movie starts off with a breezy introduction of Arundhati (Anushka Shetty),who is the Great Grand Daughter of King of Gadhwal,Mahasamsthan…..Arrangements are underway for her marriage with Rahul ( Arjun Bajwa)….During the engagement ceremony,we hear the deadly sounds of the villain Pasupathi who is shown lusting for her…..She goes with her family to Gadhwal,for final visit before her marriage…..Where a misleading phone call leads her to Mahasamsthan….There the evil spirit of Pasupathi speaks with her and promises to avenge her…..Confused and terrified,Arundhati rushes back home…..where Chandramma (Manorama),a middle aged maid servant tells her the story of Queen Jejjamma….

We are taken into a flashback where the young Princess Arundhati (Divya Nagesh) is introduced….Fondly called as “Jejjamma” by her people….She is shown to be akin to injustice and loved by her people for her valour….When you look at the little gir’sl majestic walk down the staircase in the palace…Its Royalty re-defined….an expert in painting,dancing and martial arts….She is shown as “Ruler in making”….

Young Princess Arundhati

The next introduction is of Pasupathi,the villain and his mother….He is married to the King’s elder daughter and Arundhati’s sister….Pasupathi and  his mother torture her but she never mentions about it to the King fearing Arundhati’s wrath….Pasupathi is womanizer who rapes the women in the village and kills those who do not succumb to him…His mother supports him in all his bad deeds….while his wife silently bears everything…..

Pasupathi

Things get worse when a blind teacher is brought in to teach the princess the famed “Drum Dance”…..The moment Pasupathi sees her,he starts lusting for her……Your heart escapes a beat when the blind teacher teaches the dance steps to the Princess and tells her the importance of the dance form….Despite being blind….she catches hold of the sounds being made by the drum and puts up a outstanding performance….

Blind Teacher

When Jejjamma goes away for a while,Pasupathi brutally rapes and kills the Teacher….Unable to bear the humiliation that Jejjamma has learned the truth about her husband….Elder Princess commits suicide….In anger,Jejjamma seeks revenge and gets Pasupathi thrashed from her people….He is tied to his own Horse legs….The people rejoice thinking that he is dead….Unaware that,Pasupathi is saved by the Aghoras (practitioners of Black Magic)….He stays with them and learns the Dark Arts….

Next,we taken 1o years ahead….It is wedding day of Jejjamma….Gadhwal is celebrating the marriage of their beloved Princess….Jejjamma grows up to be celestial beauty….

Arundhati in her Bridal Glow....

As the festivity is on…Pasupathi retrns to Gadhwal and starts killing everyone….He kills the King as well….But when his eyes fall on Arundhati,he forgets his revenge and starts lusting for her….He commands her to perform the “Drum Dance” for him or else he would kill everyone in the palace….To save all her people from Pasupathi’s evil magic….Jejjamma performs the dance….This is my favorite part of the movie….Because the grace with which Anushka dances and then swirls around to catch hold off the swords in remote corners of the room with dupatta to trigger them at Pasupathi is breath taking…..I just forgot myself….This particular scene showed the intelligence of Ruler….True to her spirits…..

Pasupathi commanding Jejjamma

Triggering the swords,Jejjamma cleverly cuts off Pasupathi’s tongue and stops him from reciting incantations….She then cuts off the ropes of the chandelier and pulls it down on Pasupathi….The act was really unparalleled….But she spares his life,to prevent him becoming “PRETATMA”…..He is buried alive in tomb which is protected with powerful yantras (defensive spells) from the holy Vedas….Three days later he dies….Jejjamma hears his voice in her sleep and goes to Mahasamsthan,where the spirit of Pasupathi swears to avenge her and her people…. His evil spirit afflicts bad omens in the village because of which people start dying…..

To protect them,Jejjamma meets the Siddhas (Holy Sages)…..She goes through immense torture and even sacrifices her own life….The act where the Siddhas kill her by striking her with coconuts leaves you terrified…..She is burned and her bones are reconciled into the form of Dagger….The only weapon which can kill Pasupathi forever…..

We are bought out of the the flashback….where a worker in trance to save his wife from the evil spirit of Pasupathi’s mother breaks pen the tomb and releases his spirit….All hell breaks loose with this….Pasupathi starts killing people from Arundhati’s family….Enter Anwar (Sayaji Shinde)…..who treats patient with his sorcery powers….He tells Arundhati that she is reincarnation of Jejjamma and was born to kill Pasupathi….and to protect her people……This is where You can see the massive differences between Jejjamma and Arundhati….Jejjamma was strong person and courageous who died for people….But Arundhati is shown to be very frail and timid….

What ensues next is cat and mouse race….Where Arundhati tries to get her family safely out of Gadhwal….But fails miserably….She is left with no option but fight him when Pasupathi commands her to surrender herself to him by night or else he kill her whole family….From a portrait of Jejjamma( it has minute inscriptions in the form of words)…..Arundhati learns of the dagger….Along with Anwar,she goes in search of Siddhas….But Anwar meets with an accident and falls off the cliff…..Thinking that Anwar is dead,Arundhati walks back to the Palace to surrender to Pasupathi….He orders Arundhati to wear Jejjamma’s bridal cloths and jewellery….and torments her….Just then Anwar arrives in time to save Arundhati from Pasupathi’s clutches….Anwar had escaped the fall and finally reached the Siddhas….They give him the dagger and tell him that it has to be soaked in Arundhati’s blood for it to be effective enough to kill Pasupathi….But before Anwar can tell Arundhati about it….Pasupathi kills him….

Arundhati tries to kill Pasupathi with Dagger but fails….Ultimately in an attempt to save herself,Arundhati tries to kill herself  with the Dagger and soaks in it her blood….The dagger glows and she realizes every thing….She then slays the evil spirit with her Dagger….

This story in true sense symbolizes the strength Of Women….It establishes the fact that even a Women Ruler can give up her life for people and protect them the way….A male ruler does….The sheer confidence with which Anushka portrayed the Queen Jejjamma was exceptional…..This film is must watch….For everyone who loves Horror with “ROYAL TOUCH”

©Krishnaveni Balasubramanian

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The Feeling that is….Love!!!!

The feeling that is….Love,

Unparalleled and Untouched,

The World seems above,

With our hands clutched!!!

 

I feel your presence,

Even in your absence,

Like the slow touch of breeze,

Why does my heart freeze???

 

The Red of the morning Sun,

The Violets of the Twilight,

Say that You are my loved One,

The star of my skylight!!!!

 

I can feel your smiles,

Even when I’m miles,

Your whisper…I hear,

Your laughs….I endear!!!

 

Life stands very still,

When you are not near,

It sends down a chill,

When you are not here!!!

 

Our times together,

In sorrows and joys,

Like the birds of same Feather,

Our memories are my poise!!!

 

There might be many dreams,

In this world all over,

But you are my Life’s extreme,

Like the white snow’s shower!!!!

 

My love for you is deep,

As color of the Dark Rose,

I’ll always be your steep,

Even if the time Slows!!!

 

The Feeling that is… Love,

Unparalleled and untouched,,

Your feelings…I’ll crate,

You are my Soulmate!!!!

©Krishnaveni Balasubramanian



The Mystery Of Full Moon!!!

Success can be skeptical….It raises beyond the far boundaries of Human imagination…We keep running behind it only to realize later that “SUCCESS”-this seven letter word does not come easy to anyone…I realized it quite late in my life…But the most important thing is that Experiences teach us Things that No Book In this world can ever do…

I would not say,that I was some great scholar or genius(or anything comparable to Einstein or Newton material)…But having the required percentile for Science Group had actually narrowed down all my options…I was confused…Utterly confused about what to do about my Life…I was on absolute dead end…Having passed out from the safe confines of School life (which I still miss very much…Because School was like Second home to me:( )…Suddenly I found myself in world with all unfamiliar faces…Before I could register in the shock of being hassled into the Science group(which I absolutely loathed)…Two years were gone…I was so lost in those two years trying to comprehend with the changes in my SO-CALLED-NEW-COLLEGE-LIFE,that I almost forgot what studies meant(literally speaking,I lost my mind)…The only thing that I learned in those years was what PEER PRESSURE IS…Trying to stick my nose behind the most talented and biggest Geniuses from the city…I could not carve my own niche….I felt like outcast…

I was constantly compared to the Innumerable brains in my class…I need to say this,that Comparison in no way is encouraging…They just make you ponder all the more about your capabilities and make you wish that you were not what you are…But were someone extraordinary…Someone out of this world…You wish for that magic wand which will swipe out all your problems with one stroke…But reality strikes in hard way…Success counts on HARD WORK…No magic can complement our own ability…The only problem is that we as individuals are not aware of our own abilities…We give too easily to peer pressure..try to mold ourselves like the others….In this process…We lose the “Real Person” that we are…We disappoint not others but ourselves!!!!

Hmm…so the completion of those two years did not bring joy..But only bought in more agony…The agony of my FUTURE PROSPECT…Because I was at loggerheads…Now I had two options…Either to listen to what my parents had selected for me or decide my own future course on my own…But did I have the guts to stick to my own guns…The worst thing in life is being uncertain about the “Things that you REALLY WANT in your life” and “Things that you don’t”…I too was unsure…Of whether I should listen to my parents or my Heart…I choose the course which excited me…..rather the one that my parents had chosen….But only making the right choice doesn’t count….You need to make things work….That was where I went wrong….I thought my responsibility ended with taking the decision….What a Fool I was!!!!

Three years down the line…Again I proved to be utter failure….What utter shame,my parents thought….They found this opportunity very enticing to point out…that I had made the decision of choosing profession that they never thought was good enough for me…..Again I did not know where to head from here….Life seemed a puzzle…where I had complicated things for myself…I did not understand the intriguing complexities of the Book called “LIFE”….Pondering around with questions in mind…..with no answers….I sat on my the rooftop….Staring at the night sky….and  looked for around for answers to all the questions in my life….

That was when I realized that the answers to my questions was right there hanging majestically in the sky…..THE FULL MOON…from the time I was a kid,I had been enchanted with the beauty of the moon…But I never knew that the moon held answers to my questions…There it was shining in the sky in all its glory….mesmerizing me as always…

As a child…I had always fantasized about the Moon…..Like any normal kid…I would keep staring the at the moon from the window while traveling and wonder….Why is the Moon following are trail???……At times,I used to ponder why the moon keeps on becoming small and small until it finally vanished from the sky ….There might be quite scientific lot of scientific reasons available for these childish questions….But the only fact that has not changed in all these years is that I still very much love the moon….The glow and beauty of the Full Moon is unprecedented….Nothing can stand up to it….May it is the best example of beauty which despite not being completely flawless…strikes out as the imagination of many poets and their poems…. But never had I thought that the moon stands as  the answer to dilemma….

I was just siting and watching the full moon glow in all its glory…when I suddenly remembered that just few days back the moon was just half the size it is now…But then now it has grown to its full size….This just made me realize that the two most important lessons in my life-

1)Nothing in this world is persistent forever….The moon has to complete 14 days cycle to regain its past beauty once it passes its last quarter phase and ends up being invisible on the New Moon….That day,the New Moon became a symbol of bad endings for me…..Like all good things do come to an end…all bad things do so…Whenever one way closes…another way opens up….There is no such thing as dead end in this world….Everything is just a periodical cycle going through phases of LIFE….

2) Secondly that like the Moon declines in shape and then comes back to its full size….Ups and downs are certain in life….But it will never be like that you will only have down fall….You can rise above the problems…Only that Inner Fire is needed…which will drive you all the  way to the top…..Determination is required….well,it is known fact that those few baby steps will always be required before you finally learn to  walk on your own…..

So,I got back again….Almost like the phoenix from the ashes…This time I was determined to make something out of my life….Two years down the line,now I’m PhD research scholar…. I’m thank full enough to myself for sticking to my own decisions rather than giving up to my parents choice or getting sucked up in peer pressure….I don’t regret my past decisions now…..Because finally I made something out of my life and made  my parents proud as well…Today,I’m at the place where I have the liberty to choose the way I wana live my life….So the only advise…(actually advise sounds so cliched)so I guess this should be a humble request more so over to all my friends….that please don’t ignore the pleas of your heart…No matter where you go…and what you do and what you are….Your heart will always know know what is right for you…Be unique in yourself…Never give to the ball game of Peer pressure….Do that which suits you best….Because in the end…Your so called friend from whom you may feel major complex may be the most popular or the most successful….But he or she can never be YOU!!!!!….LOVE THYSELF AND THE WORLD WILL RESPECT YOU!!!!!…..Because the world respects only those few who have the vision and the guts to stick to their own conventions and rules….:)

©Krishnaveni Balasubramanian

Most of us have experienced fear at some point of time in our Life…Some have a fear for water and are called “Hydrophobic”…Some fear heights and are called “Acrophobic”…The list is endless and so are the many dimensions of fear…There might no Man alive who didn’t have fear…Because from my point of view…”Everyone should have HEALTHY fear”…Now you might think as to how fear can be healthy…Let me illustrate some incidents from my Life which have taught me to respect fear(and also made me learn how to overcome them as well)…

But before that,We should know what this word “Fear” actually means???….According to the Dictionary,Fear has been defined as “An emotion experienced in anticipation of some specific pain or danger (usually accompanied by a desire to flee or fight)”….Now I really don’t know about the flight thing….But I’m very sure of the FLEE thing!!!…Because most of the times,I find the FLEE option very enticing to use…instead of facing the fear…Until….Of course,Some day I’m left with no other option but to FACE IT….That to….Headstraight:(

So here is list of all the Fears that I faced in my Life…On how I overcame them…How’s the “Healthy Bug” involved-
1) The Fear Of Fire
The biggest possible reason of why I’m very bad cook…is my Fear for Fire….which is called as Arsonphobia(at times I feel the phobic terms used for each Fear is more frightening than the fear itself:D)…Actually,I didn’t have first hand experience of this phobia till I entered my Chemistry Laboratory in school…We had to light a matchstick for an experiment and that was when…I was hysteric,because Fire would drive my nerves crazy….Even after my arduous efforts at trying to light matchstick…without getting my fingers burned in the process…I failed miserably…But I did not have the option to stay for all my lifetime with this phobia…Because we had chemistry practicals exams in the next week…A week’s notice!!!!

Way of Escape-So I did what I always did for my Exams…Made my Mom sit with me and tried to light as many matchsticks as I could…Trying to get control on my shivering hands…I won’t say that I succeeded much at that…But at least,I learned how to light matchstick,by getting better control on my nerves(making sure that I did not blast the lab)…After all these years,now that I have to use fire in lab on daily basis for all microbiological work…I don’t get any goosebumps as such…I’m not still very good cook…But at least,I can cook something decent enough without setting the kitchen on fire…

Healthy Bug– It’s good that as kid,I was afraid of fire…Because I’m such naughty kid..that I might have just set the gas stove on for fun…But the fear persisted me from at least going anywhere near the gas stove til I was old enough to know the consequences…Thanks to my fear…I’m still alive(so are others at my home!!!)

2) The Fear For Crawling and Creeping Creatures on Planet Earth
This fear stems from my absolute hatred for all creatures that creep and crawl(including cockroaches,lizards,millipedes,centipedes and rats)….Every creatures that drives me up the wall…shouting and screeching…The phobia is called Entomophobia (this phobic term is at the most in sync with the fear itself)…
I had mostly leave the job of driving these things out to my Dad…who always felt that it was his birth right to kill these pests and make our Home…Pest free Zone!!!

I would not have the dare to face these creepy crawly pests…Until I had no other option left…I was alone in my Hostel room for study holidays…That was when,One fine evening,I found my nightmare…Right in my cupboard…Siting there in royal posture like King!!!….A large Garden Lizard!!!….I freaked out like anything…I had stayed in harmony for many years with lizards at home…Keeping as much distance from them as possible….I would have left this one as well…But it was happily chewing into my food supplies…and I was not particularly excited at having Garden lizard as a room mate…


(Frankly this is not my Dog…I just downloaded this picture…Because the Lizard was just as big as the one on this Dog’s back)

Way Of Escape-Then I had to do the inevitable…Drive Mr.Bossy out all on my own…I took the only help available then…Broomstick…Tried to drag it out from my cupboard…But being garden Lizard…Not only was it more Big in Size…But also more sticky…So it won’t give up easily…Already,I was sweating like I was in Hell(thinking of the possibility that what if this beast jumped on me)…So I dragged it with all the force that I could apply…At last,it came off…So I just pushed it off the window and shut it closed…So that no garden lizard again found its way into my cupboard(most importantly near my food supplies:( )

Healthy Bug-It’s good that I was afraid of lizards…Because that day after driving it out…I realized one more time…That until You FACE Your fear…It is going to haunt you all your life…Making you a Big time Phobic…Fear can only be overcome By seeing it eye to eye (although I won’t say that seeing lizard’s eye is such a good option)….But at least,now I won’t stand having those crawling creatures in my room…Although….Of course,I still don’t have my Dad’s guts to kill them….But I guess there are more peaceful ways to survival:)….

3) FACEBOOK OBSESSION SYNDROME (FOS)
This age has seen the rise of technology…and bigger part of it was associated with Communication…In good old days…The only ways were letters,money orders (love letters being strictly reserved for pigeons)…and most recently Emails…But progress bought with it a massive phenomenon…Which is called as “FACEBOOK”….Anytime you login…You will always find your friends there…The only problem being that many of them may be people whom you haven’t met in you whole life….But now Facebook has become more than way of Life..It has become an ADDICTION….The worst thing being…that I’m big time Addict!!!

Despite the fact,that I’m well aware of the ill effects that FOS causes like any other dangerous disease…In fact I can very well see the signs and symptoms,which I had like to share with you all-
1) Sudden urge to login and check news feed(as if the world would end and you won’t even know about it,if you didn’t check the feed)
2)Updating your status every hour and then checking out,if anyone has commented on your status,almost 60 times.
3)Chatting with friends almost for whole day(But when you meet them personally…all you have to say is simple Hi or Hello)
4)Posting all your family trips pictures and waiting for comments(until some one from your family sees them…and holds you responisible for spoiling their “VIRTUAL” image on facebook!!!)

Now you all must be wondering about what is fear associated with Facebook…Well..the fear is of having the stigma of not being “NET-SAVVY AND OLD FASHIONED”…if you are not on Facebook…Then you are most backward and illiterate person on Planet Earth…To be in sync with recent trends and to get yourself called as “all knowing”…You have to part of FACEBOOK…

Way Of Escape-There is absolutely no escape from this fear…Until we get control on our mindset…We have to accept the fact that being on social website doesn’t improve our social image…But damages it all the more…Because all those futile hours before computer….Could be properly utilized somewhere else…Instead of being stuck online with friends…Why not make that extra effort…Just shut down that computer,catch up with all your friends OFFLINE…plan trip where you can experience the Real beauty of Nature and feel the touch of fresh breeze…than trapping yourself in this virtual world,which just keeps you far away from the real world…and the REAL lively people in it….

So…what would you prefer…Trekking in some Green forests like the one on the left or Going for walk on the beach with your loved one’s….or just keep on staring on the blank screen in between…I had prefer the Treks…What about you???

Healthy Bug-There is nothing good about this Fear…But if you overcome this,surely it will be good…I can’t say anything more about this…because I have myself not overcome this fear….The process still continues….But one day,I’m sure that I’ll will succeed in getting over this fear as well…Because living without a social network is obviously less scary than Fire and Lizards:P….When I can get over them….I can surely get over “Facebook Obsession Syndrome” as well….Hope you all will also be successful in overcoming all your fears….Because beyond that fear,There is the joy of satisfaction….That ultimately,You are no more PHOBIC!!!!

©Krishnaveni Balasubramanian

The Broken Pieces….

It is human tendency that we think of all possible ways to increase our agony more…When we are already very much agonized….Instead of thinking of solutions for the problems,we love to take on the blame and keep kicking things that would in no way help to solve the problems…

The same was situation at Ram’s home….He had invested all of his earnings in this new venture…His dreams of so many years…To have his own business…To be His own Boss…To be not the employed…But the EMPLOYER…But now all this was impossible…because his dreams had crashed down like the pile of cards…Because he didn’t know that dreams are meant be recognized…But with great caution and planning…This was where He went wrong…so very wrong…Because He believed in the wrong people and invested at wrong place…Those people took away not just Ram’s money…But also his confidence!!!

So now that everything was gone,Ram had nothing left but to sit and blame himself for his belief…Which had failed so miserably,that was something which he could not accept….Like everyone else,the first thought that came to his mind was to commit suicide…But then he looked at his old parents and thought that by killing himself…He could not punish them,for his mistakes…But then what else could he do…He sat down in the corner of dark room and refused to come out…He refused to eat…Because he felt that after failed so miserably…He had no right to do that…He had failed all….

That was when he felt a soft hand on his shoulders and heard his favorite voice…The voice that he loved the most…” Ram,You have grown so frail…You don’t eat properly…What is this thing that you new age boys have against food…You people work so much that by the time you are settled..You look 50 years old”…Then she stroked his hair and smiled…Ram could not take it anymore….He hugged her and cried out loud…” Now,don’t cry…I know,I’m abit late…I had promised that I’ll come when you start with your new venture…But I could not…I’m sorry…You know about the old man at home…He may be grandfather now,but if I’m not home…He won’t survive a day…Your aunt come down to stay for week…So finally,I could get rid of Old Man”…She laughed..

Unknowingly,Ram found himself smiling….” Come on,Grandma…You will never stop mocking Grandpa…How is he?”…”He is all good…Must be even better now…because I’m not home to stop him from eating sweets…I don’t understand how to get rid of his cravings for sweet nothings and increasing his insulin levels…Tell me dear,what all is happening at your new office?”…That was when Ram could no longer stand looking into her bright eyes.” Grandma,I failed…I did a big mistake…I failed miserably…I have failed you all…Father,Mother and You of all”….” It’s all right,Child….One mistake is allowed for everyone…If you don’t do mistakes,how will you learn”…..

“No,Grandma…It’s my mistake…Father had told me beforehand that I should not invest before knowing well all the details of the venture and the people involved…How could I fail father with all the hard earned money of his life and also mine…He had so much faith in me…I failed so badly…What will think of me..The society will call me a FAILURE…But may be that’s right…I’m not good for anything…I’m such a big Waste…No one will ever trust me again…All my dreams have shattered…I’ll never dare to Dream again”….For that Grandma said nothing more and walked away….Ram watched her walk away slowly from the room and glanced down….He knew no way out of this…

That was when he suddenly heard clash outside….Something had fallen down and strung all along…Then he heard his Grandma’ s sober cry…Ram instantly ran out and found on the floor….Broken pieces of his favorite blue vase…and nearby his Grandma sat down and was sobbing…” I’m so sorry,Ram..I didn’t do it knowingly…While i was coming out…I knocked it out by mistake…I’m so sorry Ram…I broke your favorite vase…Oh God…I’m such an Old Shack…Can’t even look while I’m walking…Forgive me,Ram…No,I don’t think you will forgive me…That vase was your Fathers gift….You cherished it so much…You will never forgive for breaking it…Oh,What shall I do???”

Ram sat down,wiped her tears off her cheeks and held her hands….” Grandma,It’s ok…That vase is not more important than you…Why will I get angry on you…I know how much you love me…I know you must have done it unknowingly…You will never do anything to hurt me…It’s just glass vase,it was bound to be broken…because Glass is fragile…Don’t cry Grandma…I’ll get a new vase before Father finds out that this one is broken…Please don’t cry…I can’t see your tears”…and gave her tight squeezed hug…

That was when Grandma looked up and said “You are clever boy…When you all this…then what were you crying for some time before??”…Ram looked at her surprisingly….” Hmm,just as crying for this broken vase won’t get the pieces plastered together…in the same way,crying on mistakes won’t make them right…or solve your problems….When you can think of getting new vase and replacing the broken one before your father finds out…then are you so weak or dumb that you can’t find a a way out of this problem…There might be many people responsible for your success…But for your failure…Only you are Responsible.”

” When your Father held your hands and was teaching you to walk…You had fall down at times,If he left your hand…But did that stop you from learning how to walk???….Failures are lessons…from which You learn how not to commit those same mistakes again…Failures are meaningful chapters of your Life…Because unless You see failure…You forget how to respect Success….It’s God’s way of reminding you,that you should not let success go into your head…So,my Child…stop blaming yourself for your mistakes and learn from them…Make yourself so strong and sensible,that no one again dares to fool around with you…Never think that because of whatever has happened your Father will stop trusting you…We all love you alot…We will always stand by you in all walks of life…Don’t bother how much others trust you or what society will think of you…Just live for yourself…Trust your instincts..They will never fail you in any way…”

Ram didn’t know how to react…His Grandma had just taught him the most important lesson he ever learned…”You are right…I was running away from my problems,rather than facing them…But not anymore…I won’t give up so easily…I strive again and rise like the phoenix rises from its own ashes….Nothing can lower my self esteem now..Thank you,Grandma….What will I do if You were not here”

On that Grandma smiled again and replied ” You are just like your Grandpa….He also grumbles alot…Then I have to try something like this broken vase to get him back to his senses…Practice makes even WOMEN perfect…Doesn’t it???….Then she laughed out like she always did…When she was most happy….Ram felt warmth seeping through him…which he knew would give the all the strength he needed…To get all things back on Track!!!!

©Krishnaveni Balasubramanian

Alone I Am!!!!

Is being a Girl curse,
Our Life being made Worse,
Why everyone wants a Son,
Daughter being Unholy One???

We are silenced from Birth,
Which gives no one any Mirth,
We are unwanted Guests,
In our own Mother’s Nest!!!

We have no Rights to Education,
We fear our own Reflection,
Being Servants is are Fate,
Our life is miserable State!!!

Married off at Young Age,
Girl is put in another Cage,
Where Her family expects Wealth,
Which escapes Law’s Stealth???

In land where,We worship Shakti,
There is only more Laxmi’s Bhakti,
We call our country Motherland,
Then why is Woman always in Remand???

When will Man Understand,
That his Wife is like his right Hand,
When will Man respect Her,
Without whom,His life will be all Blur!!!

When will We gain That Respect,
When We won’t be harassed Sect,
Will that day ever Come,
When all superstitions will be Dumb???

When being a Girl won’t be curse,
When Our Life won’t Be Adverse,
When Everyone will want not just the Son,
Where Daughter will be most welcome!!!!

©Krishnaveni Balasubramanian

It was the Day that everyone in the world is afraid about…RESULTS…This seven letter can rip the souls out of Your body in no time…Make you Feel as if Hell was next Door..I was afraid…Not of what might come in my Results…But what my Future may hold for me…Depending on what My results WERE LIKE!!!

Then the dreaded hour stuck….The results were available online…I typed in my Roll number…In utter MISERY…That was the moment when I felt my two world’s merge together…One where i could see light and the other which was full of….DARKNESS…The scroller was going in circles…I felt like my Head was spinning…Round and Round and Round…Then my results were there on the screen…I watched aghast..As if I had seen some ghost from my Distant Past…

95%….I jumped off the chair…Leaping around,My joy knew no bounds..I called all my family members and showed them the results…I saw the pride in their eyes…My Father gave me the biggest warm hug and said He was proud…He had tears in his eyes…My Mother just did not know how to React…Because She was from a Generation…Where women were never allowed to go to school..let alone get educated…So getting such marks was out of question…My Uncles went berserk telling everyone in the society that there niece had got top score(if allowed maybe,They would have written this on society notice board as well…I’m glad that they never took these EXTREME MEASURES)My aunts followed suit(Taking our Indian mindset that Husband is always right…A BIT too seriously)…They called up each and every Contact on their mobiles(ask me about the misuse of technology and waste of money)…To announce to them The biggest Happening News of the Millennium!!!

Well this was just the beginning of My Ordeal…It said that Family comes together in bad times…Mine also do…The only problem was that They come together to get those so called “Bad times” for me!!!!….Everyone searched up all the websites(the one’s available and also the one’s unavailable in frantic attempt…Thinking that If they searched for that site without leaving any stone unturned…May be that site will appear out of no where….I don’t blame them…I blame Shahrukh Khan for this…Remember that dialogue from Om Shanti Om)

Hmm…So this was it…It was that day,I realized many things very clearly…The first thing being That…Parents and Relatives are biggest Dreamers in this World…The only difficulty being that They never dream for themselves…but for their KIDS…What they dreamt of becoming….But could not become..They hope their children to become that….So the popular mentality prevalent in Indian Society is that If You are Boy….You should become ONLY Engineer…While if you are Girl…Your only option is to become Doctor(This is what I call Real Gender Bias)…But the only thing that I FAIL to understand is that if all gals borne in India were to become doctors ONLY…How will we get all patients for them…If all guys were to become Civil Engineers ONLY…Where the hell is that much space in India for all of them to have their constructions brought from paper to reality….The answer is BIG ?????….

Right…So getting back to me…My parents and everyone else finally decided that I should become Doctor…For the first time…I could see My dreams down the dungeon…Because being A doctor was not something that I really Dreamt of…The castle of My dreams came crashing down…That Day I understood what is feeling which everyone calls…Depression….I wanted to shout at all…Tell them,That I was not interested in becoming Doctor…I just got up and walked up to my Room..fell down on my bed…and cried…I don’t remember for how long….

It was then…That I got call from my friend.” Hey Riya…Congrats Gal..95%…AWESOME…So when is Treat…Hey did u tell your parents about SACON”….I grasped for breath…I felt like I could not talk anymore.
” They want me to be Doctor”…”So what’s the big deal about it….After your Ph.D…You will be Doctor,Riya”….Trying to make my friend Savi to understand something was like,breaking my Head in front of Stone….”You are not getting it Savi..They want me to be real Doctor…Hospital types..Surgeon,gynecologist….Are you getting my Problem”….

Then again I started sobbing…”Riya,Dear….Don’t Cry…Please Talk to Your Parents…Tell them You want to be Wild life Activist…They will understand,Dear”….It was then that I started sobbing even more…”No,They will never understand…God…why did I ever get this thing in my head…I had so many dreams…I wanted to research rare species of animals in Indian Forests….Find out the reason of their dwindling numbers….Do my BIT….To save them….But I don’t think anyone in my family will ever let go near any jungle…Let alone do Research….What should I do,Savi…I can never be what I wanted to be”….Tears flew down more…As I could not speak,I switched off my mobile….Only to turn back and find my Mother standing at the door of My Room….

She looked at me and that little faint smile..which She always gave…When as kid…I did not listen to her and persisted for Ice-cream(which Of course,Gave me cold)…But that day…I saw in her smile,weird understanding..As if She had just understood everything without me telling her anything (but that’s every Mom special department…I often wonder If all Mother’s in the world are Born with Gene…Which gets Switched on…Only When their Children are in trouble…Mom’s are the best Troubleshooter’s in the World)….That Night was big celebration at home…Only I did not enjoy it..I felt so dizzy that,I went off and dozed off to sleep..To get required strength for next day’s ordeal….

Only morning did not turn out to be ordeal…Because when I woke up and stretched my arms to hit the screaming alarm off…I felt a paper…I woke up all startled and hastily read that paper…Only to find that it was Downloaded application Form for “Salim Ali Center for Ornithology and Natural History’s Integrated Ph.D program”….I jumped out of my bed…and rushed to the hall..where My Dad was siting on the couch,having his morning coffee…When he saw me…He gave that odd smile…which he always did…When he found out that I had stolen sweets when Mom was not there in the kitchen…

I rushed to him and give him a hug…He laughed and said “Hope my Little Princess is Happy now…Well…Let me guess…That twinkle in Your Eyes says it all…But why You didn’t tell me this before…Afraid???”….I lowered my Head and nodded…He laughed again as if I had told him the best Joke….”When you were born and I took you in my arms…I felt as if the whole world was in my arms…When you smiled,I felt like I was on top of the world…You are the best Gift in my life…That moment,I had promised myself…That your wishes will always come before mine…Yeah,it’s true that I would have felt proud If you became a Doctor…But I would never be glad if You did it half heartedly..I’ll feel equally happy in Whatever You do…Provided You are satisfied…We were and will always be there for you,My little Princess.”

“Whatever may happen…Whatever may be the situation…Always Listen to that little voice in Your Heart…YOUR INNER VOICE…Trust it more than anyone else..Because it knows what is best for you,Your inner voice will never fail you…We may not be there for you Tomorrow…But Your heart will always be there for you…AT THE RIGHT PLACE AND RIGHT TIME…Learn to take decisions for your own well being dear…Trust no one else…But Yourself…Because if You don’t…You will be lost in that crowd outside…Do what You enjoy the best….Remember,the most important thing is to Live your Life…Not Pretend to be alive….Your Soul should be in your work”

I cried again when Dad said this….But only this time…It was in happiness…That’s when,I saw from the corner of my eye…My mom was standing behind my Dad….again Smiling….I knew instantly…That even now…She must have understood my UNSAID WORDS!!!!

©Krishnaveni Balasubramanian

When I grow Old,
Life may not be Gold,
But With Your hands in Mine,
Joys will never decline!!!

I may not be that pretty,
Or may be not even that witty,
But even in Old Age,
I’ll be in Your Heart’s Cage!!!

My feet may go Weak,
Your support,They will Seek,
I may not see things Clear,
But You will my Eyes,My Dear!!!

My Face may have Wrinkles,
For me,Still Your eyes will Twinkle,
My Hair may become all White,
But for you,That will be Twilight!!!

I may not be able to speak,
Still happy moments,We will sneak,
Our Children may be Away,
But together We will Stay!!!

I may forget things,
My memory may turn blur,
Life will complete it’s Ring,
Your warm Hugs will be my Fur!!!

You will be my only Song
Can’t stay apart for Long,
Reliving Bond really Sweet,
My heart will still skip a Beat!!!

When I grow Old,
Life may not be Gold,
But By being on your side,
Life will always be Joy-Ride!!!

©Krishnaveni Balasubramanian


Innocence Lost Forever!!!!!

When I was a Kid,
Did anyone Have,
The dare to Forbid,
I was my Dad’s Princess,
My Every Will and Wish,
Being a Success!!!

Those were the Best Days,
When I had my own cute ways,
With Mom’s love and hug,
Life was all smug!!!

When Dad was my horse,
Riding on him High,
Life was not coarse,
Dreams were My best Buy!!!

When only things broken,
Were Soft little toys,
Friendship was best token,
With no idea of evil ploys!!!

When drinks were,
Nothing more than Lime juice,
Unknown was the BEER,
Common things being put to Best Use!!!

When the absolute Luxury,
Was Grandma’s Story,
When there was no Fury,
Being together was all GLORY!!!

When Good-bye meant,
We’ll meet Tomorrow,
With picnics in Tents,
And no knowledge of Sorrow!!!

Today I’m so far away,
I feel alone,
Because I’m not Home,
Life has gone all Astray….

Those were the best days,
When I had my innocent ways,
My Heart yearns for Them,
When Family was Life’s Stem!!!!

©Krishnaveni Balasubramanian

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

I wanted to hide my Heart,

All pain locked inside Tight,

I wanted to b forevr in Dark,

But u bought me to Light!!!!

You walked In,

When Everyone walked Out,

Through Thick n Thin,

Like a Shadow u stood Stout!!!!

Everyone just saw my Smiles,

But You heard my distant Cry,

We may b away by Miles,

But You l always be my life s High!!!

When You are Near,

There is no Fear,

Even If we are Apart,

You are a part of My Heart!!!!

Too many questions,

In My Mind,

If a True Friend like You,

I’l ever find????

©Krishnaveni Balasubramanian

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