Tag Archive: Women


The Broken Pieces….

It is human tendency that we think of all possible ways to increase our agony more…When we are already very much agonized….Instead of thinking of solutions for the problems,we love to take on the blame and keep kicking things that would in no way help to solve the problems…

The same was situation at Ram’s home….He had invested all of his earnings in this new venture…His dreams of so many years…To have his own business…To be His own Boss…To be not the employed…But the EMPLOYER…But now all this was impossible…because his dreams had crashed down like the pile of cards…Because he didn’t know that dreams are meant be recognized…But with great caution and planning…This was where He went wrong…so very wrong…Because He believed in the wrong people and invested at wrong place…Those people took away not just Ram’s money…But also his confidence!!!

So now that everything was gone,Ram had nothing left but to sit and blame himself for his belief…Which had failed so miserably,that was something which he could not accept….Like everyone else,the first thought that came to his mind was to commit suicide…But then he looked at his old parents and thought that by killing himself…He could not punish them,for his mistakes…But then what else could he do…He sat down in the corner of dark room and refused to come out…He refused to eat…Because he felt that after failed so miserably…He had no right to do that…He had failed all….

That was when he felt a soft hand on his shoulders and heard his favorite voice…The voice that he loved the most…” Ram,You have grown so frail…You don’t eat properly…What is this thing that you new age boys have against food…You people work so much that by the time you are settled..You look 50 years old”…Then she stroked his hair and smiled…Ram could not take it anymore….He hugged her and cried out loud…” Now,don’t cry…I know,I’m abit late…I had promised that I’ll come when you start with your new venture…But I could not…I’m sorry…You know about the old man at home…He may be grandfather now,but if I’m not home…He won’t survive a day…Your aunt come down to stay for week…So finally,I could get rid of Old Man”…She laughed..

Unknowingly,Ram found himself smiling….” Come on,Grandma…You will never stop mocking Grandpa…How is he?”…”He is all good…Must be even better now…because I’m not home to stop him from eating sweets…I don’t understand how to get rid of his cravings for sweet nothings and increasing his insulin levels…Tell me dear,what all is happening at your new office?”…That was when Ram could no longer stand looking into her bright eyes.” Grandma,I failed…I did a big mistake…I failed miserably…I have failed you all…Father,Mother and You of all”….” It’s all right,Child….One mistake is allowed for everyone…If you don’t do mistakes,how will you learn”…..

“No,Grandma…It’s my mistake…Father had told me beforehand that I should not invest before knowing well all the details of the venture and the people involved…How could I fail father with all the hard earned money of his life and also mine…He had so much faith in me…I failed so badly…What will think of me..The society will call me a FAILURE…But may be that’s right…I’m not good for anything…I’m such a big Waste…No one will ever trust me again…All my dreams have shattered…I’ll never dare to Dream again”….For that Grandma said nothing more and walked away….Ram watched her walk away slowly from the room and glanced down….He knew no way out of this…

That was when he suddenly heard clash outside….Something had fallen down and strung all along…Then he heard his Grandma’ s sober cry…Ram instantly ran out and found on the floor….Broken pieces of his favorite blue vase…and nearby his Grandma sat down and was sobbing…” I’m so sorry,Ram..I didn’t do it knowingly…While i was coming out…I knocked it out by mistake…I’m so sorry Ram…I broke your favorite vase…Oh God…I’m such an Old Shack…Can’t even look while I’m walking…Forgive me,Ram…No,I don’t think you will forgive me…That vase was your Fathers gift….You cherished it so much…You will never forgive for breaking it…Oh,What shall I do???”

Ram sat down,wiped her tears off her cheeks and held her hands….” Grandma,It’s ok…That vase is not more important than you…Why will I get angry on you…I know how much you love me…I know you must have done it unknowingly…You will never do anything to hurt me…It’s just glass vase,it was bound to be broken…because Glass is fragile…Don’t cry Grandma…I’ll get a new vase before Father finds out that this one is broken…Please don’t cry…I can’t see your tears”…and gave her tight squeezed hug…

That was when Grandma looked up and said “You are clever boy…When you all this…then what were you crying for some time before??”…Ram looked at her surprisingly….” Hmm,just as crying for this broken vase won’t get the pieces plastered together…in the same way,crying on mistakes won’t make them right…or solve your problems….When you can think of getting new vase and replacing the broken one before your father finds out…then are you so weak or dumb that you can’t find a a way out of this problem…There might be many people responsible for your success…But for your failure…Only you are Responsible.”

” When your Father held your hands and was teaching you to walk…You had fall down at times,If he left your hand…But did that stop you from learning how to walk???….Failures are lessons…from which You learn how not to commit those same mistakes again…Failures are meaningful chapters of your Life…Because unless You see failure…You forget how to respect Success….It’s God’s way of reminding you,that you should not let success go into your head…So,my Child…stop blaming yourself for your mistakes and learn from them…Make yourself so strong and sensible,that no one again dares to fool around with you…Never think that because of whatever has happened your Father will stop trusting you…We all love you alot…We will always stand by you in all walks of life…Don’t bother how much others trust you or what society will think of you…Just live for yourself…Trust your instincts..They will never fail you in any way…”

Ram didn’t know how to react…His Grandma had just taught him the most important lesson he ever learned…”You are right…I was running away from my problems,rather than facing them…But not anymore…I won’t give up so easily…I strive again and rise like the phoenix rises from its own ashes….Nothing can lower my self esteem now..Thank you,Grandma….What will I do if You were not here”

On that Grandma smiled again and replied ” You are just like your Grandpa….He also grumbles alot…Then I have to try something like this broken vase to get him back to his senses…Practice makes even WOMEN perfect…Doesn’t it???….Then she laughed out like she always did…When she was most happy….Ram felt warmth seeping through him…which he knew would give the all the strength he needed…To get all things back on Track!!!!

©Krishnaveni Balasubramanian

Alone I Am!!!!

Is being a Girl curse,
Our Life being made Worse,
Why everyone wants a Son,
Daughter being Unholy One???

We are silenced from Birth,
Which gives no one any Mirth,
We are unwanted Guests,
In our own Mother’s Nest!!!

We have no Rights to Education,
We fear our own Reflection,
Being Servants is are Fate,
Our life is miserable State!!!

Married off at Young Age,
Girl is put in another Cage,
Where Her family expects Wealth,
Which escapes Law’s Stealth???

In land where,We worship Shakti,
There is only more Laxmi’s Bhakti,
We call our country Motherland,
Then why is Woman always in Remand???

When will Man Understand,
That his Wife is like his right Hand,
When will Man respect Her,
Without whom,His life will be all Blur!!!

When will We gain That Respect,
When We won’t be harassed Sect,
Will that day ever Come,
When all superstitions will be Dumb???

When being a Girl won’t be curse,
When Our Life won’t Be Adverse,
When Everyone will want not just the Son,
Where Daughter will be most welcome!!!!

©Krishnaveni Balasubramanian

It was the Day that everyone in the world is afraid about…RESULTS…This seven letter can rip the souls out of Your body in no time…Make you Feel as if Hell was next Door..I was afraid…Not of what might come in my Results…But what my Future may hold for me…Depending on what My results WERE LIKE!!!

Then the dreaded hour stuck….The results were available online…I typed in my Roll number…In utter MISERY…That was the moment when I felt my two world’s merge together…One where i could see light and the other which was full of….DARKNESS…The scroller was going in circles…I felt like my Head was spinning…Round and Round and Round…Then my results were there on the screen…I watched aghast..As if I had seen some ghost from my Distant Past…

95%….I jumped off the chair…Leaping around,My joy knew no bounds..I called all my family members and showed them the results…I saw the pride in their eyes…My Father gave me the biggest warm hug and said He was proud…He had tears in his eyes…My Mother just did not know how to React…Because She was from a Generation…Where women were never allowed to go to school..let alone get educated…So getting such marks was out of question…My Uncles went berserk telling everyone in the society that there niece had got top score(if allowed maybe,They would have written this on society notice board as well…I’m glad that they never took these EXTREME MEASURES)My aunts followed suit(Taking our Indian mindset that Husband is always right…A BIT too seriously)…They called up each and every Contact on their mobiles(ask me about the misuse of technology and waste of money)…To announce to them The biggest Happening News of the Millennium!!!

Well this was just the beginning of My Ordeal…It said that Family comes together in bad times…Mine also do…The only problem was that They come together to get those so called “Bad times” for me!!!!….Everyone searched up all the websites(the one’s available and also the one’s unavailable in frantic attempt…Thinking that If they searched for that site without leaving any stone unturned…May be that site will appear out of no where….I don’t blame them…I blame Shahrukh Khan for this…Remember that dialogue from Om Shanti Om)

Hmm…So this was it…It was that day,I realized many things very clearly…The first thing being That…Parents and Relatives are biggest Dreamers in this World…The only difficulty being that They never dream for themselves…but for their KIDS…What they dreamt of becoming….But could not become..They hope their children to become that….So the popular mentality prevalent in Indian Society is that If You are Boy….You should become ONLY Engineer…While if you are Girl…Your only option is to become Doctor(This is what I call Real Gender Bias)…But the only thing that I FAIL to understand is that if all gals borne in India were to become doctors ONLY…How will we get all patients for them…If all guys were to become Civil Engineers ONLY…Where the hell is that much space in India for all of them to have their constructions brought from paper to reality….The answer is BIG ?????….

Right…So getting back to me…My parents and everyone else finally decided that I should become Doctor…For the first time…I could see My dreams down the dungeon…Because being A doctor was not something that I really Dreamt of…The castle of My dreams came crashing down…That Day I understood what is feeling which everyone calls…Depression….I wanted to shout at all…Tell them,That I was not interested in becoming Doctor…I just got up and walked up to my Room..fell down on my bed…and cried…I don’t remember for how long….

It was then…That I got call from my friend.” Hey Riya…Congrats Gal..95%…AWESOME…So when is Treat…Hey did u tell your parents about SACON”….I grasped for breath…I felt like I could not talk anymore.
” They want me to be Doctor”…”So what’s the big deal about it….After your Ph.D…You will be Doctor,Riya”….Trying to make my friend Savi to understand something was like,breaking my Head in front of Stone….”You are not getting it Savi..They want me to be real Doctor…Hospital types..Surgeon,gynecologist….Are you getting my Problem”….

Then again I started sobbing…”Riya,Dear….Don’t Cry…Please Talk to Your Parents…Tell them You want to be Wild life Activist…They will understand,Dear”….It was then that I started sobbing even more…”No,They will never understand…God…why did I ever get this thing in my head…I had so many dreams…I wanted to research rare species of animals in Indian Forests….Find out the reason of their dwindling numbers….Do my BIT….To save them….But I don’t think anyone in my family will ever let go near any jungle…Let alone do Research….What should I do,Savi…I can never be what I wanted to be”….Tears flew down more…As I could not speak,I switched off my mobile….Only to turn back and find my Mother standing at the door of My Room….

She looked at me and that little faint smile..which She always gave…When as kid…I did not listen to her and persisted for Ice-cream(which Of course,Gave me cold)…But that day…I saw in her smile,weird understanding..As if She had just understood everything without me telling her anything (but that’s every Mom special department…I often wonder If all Mother’s in the world are Born with Gene…Which gets Switched on…Only When their Children are in trouble…Mom’s are the best Troubleshooter’s in the World)….That Night was big celebration at home…Only I did not enjoy it..I felt so dizzy that,I went off and dozed off to sleep..To get required strength for next day’s ordeal….

Only morning did not turn out to be ordeal…Because when I woke up and stretched my arms to hit the screaming alarm off…I felt a paper…I woke up all startled and hastily read that paper…Only to find that it was Downloaded application Form for “Salim Ali Center for Ornithology and Natural History’s Integrated Ph.D program”….I jumped out of my bed…and rushed to the hall..where My Dad was siting on the couch,having his morning coffee…When he saw me…He gave that odd smile…which he always did…When he found out that I had stolen sweets when Mom was not there in the kitchen…

I rushed to him and give him a hug…He laughed and said “Hope my Little Princess is Happy now…Well…Let me guess…That twinkle in Your Eyes says it all…But why You didn’t tell me this before…Afraid???”….I lowered my Head and nodded…He laughed again as if I had told him the best Joke….”When you were born and I took you in my arms…I felt as if the whole world was in my arms…When you smiled,I felt like I was on top of the world…You are the best Gift in my life…That moment,I had promised myself…That your wishes will always come before mine…Yeah,it’s true that I would have felt proud If you became a Doctor…But I would never be glad if You did it half heartedly..I’ll feel equally happy in Whatever You do…Provided You are satisfied…We were and will always be there for you,My little Princess.”

“Whatever may happen…Whatever may be the situation…Always Listen to that little voice in Your Heart…YOUR INNER VOICE…Trust it more than anyone else..Because it knows what is best for you,Your inner voice will never fail you…We may not be there for you Tomorrow…But Your heart will always be there for you…AT THE RIGHT PLACE AND RIGHT TIME…Learn to take decisions for your own well being dear…Trust no one else…But Yourself…Because if You don’t…You will be lost in that crowd outside…Do what You enjoy the best….Remember,the most important thing is to Live your Life…Not Pretend to be alive….Your Soul should be in your work”

I cried again when Dad said this….But only this time…It was in happiness…That’s when,I saw from the corner of my eye…My mom was standing behind my Dad….again Smiling….I knew instantly…That even now…She must have understood my UNSAID WORDS!!!!

©Krishnaveni Balasubramanian

When I grow Old,
Life may not be Gold,
But With Your hands in Mine,
Joys will never decline!!!

I may not be that pretty,
Or may be not even that witty,
But even in Old Age,
I’ll be in Your Heart’s Cage!!!

My feet may go Weak,
Your support,They will Seek,
I may not see things Clear,
But You will my Eyes,My Dear!!!

My Face may have Wrinkles,
For me,Still Your eyes will Twinkle,
My Hair may become all White,
But for you,That will be Twilight!!!

I may not be able to speak,
Still happy moments,We will sneak,
Our Children may be Away,
But together We will Stay!!!

I may forget things,
My memory may turn blur,
Life will complete it’s Ring,
Your warm Hugs will be my Fur!!!

You will be my only Song
Can’t stay apart for Long,
Reliving Bond really Sweet,
My heart will still skip a Beat!!!

When I grow Old,
Life may not be Gold,
But By being on your side,
Life will always be Joy-Ride!!!

©Krishnaveni Balasubramanian


The sky was filled with mist.It had rained all night and the clouds had descended on the land.She sat on garden bench,looking towards the depths of water in lake facing the garden.The stone tiles of garden were all wet because of last night’s rains…So were her Eyes….But with Tears!!!!!

She glanced up and heaved a sigh…not one of Relief…But of Pain and clenched the pendant in her Hands more tightly.She wanted to stop…To stop crying…To Forget and Forgive…To allow the wounds to Heal…But memories kept lashing back like bad thunderstorms…She felt trapped…With no way to Escape!!!

“Why me…did I not love you enough…May be I was wrong…I did mistakes,all right…But does that mean You had to THIS???….WHY??…I have everything I want…But still I feel alone…Because You are not Here anymore”.She looked down again in the lake…But saw not her face..But His Image instead…His smiling Face..Holding hands…Only it was not her…But that of his WIFE!!!

She walked up to the bench again and sat down with heavy heart.She glanced up again and wanted to curse…Only she didn’t know whom to curse for all the pain that She was feeling…Finally she made up her mind…”God, Are You really there??? Do you Exist??? Or You just A word..If You are really anywhere in any part of the world…Come down here from Your Heaven…And answers my questions…If you have the guts for that???”

Again unable to control she laid her face between her hands and cried…Like crying was only answer available right now…Suddenly She heard footsteps…Soft little steps…Then she felt warm little hand on her shoulder…When she found the courage to glance up again…All that her tear filled eyes could see was a Little girl standing in front of her…With a Blue Umbrella,smiling at her.

“why are you crying???…Someone scolded you for eating chocolates or Ur Mom did not allow you to play in the rains???”….She didn’t know how to reply to little girl’s innocent query…She again looked down and replied “Nothing dear,Im not crying for all that…You would not understand…You are too small to understand My Pain!!!”

“Hmm…May be You are right…Even Mom says that I’m too small to understand things…Hey,how is my Umbrella…Blue is my favorite colour…Do You like Blue ah???”….Krisha gave a silent nod,unable to say anything more….”You know it was raining heavily last night…My umbrella got all wet…I forget to dry it…Then in morning Mom told me to rush down to grocery store…But my umbrella is still so WET”….Krisha didn’t understand why the little girl was so worried about wet umbrella…When her whole world was crashing down so badly!!!

“Why are you so bothered about umbrella being wet” asked Krisha….Girl replied ” Because if The water stays back in umbrella…It stinks…I hate that STINK”….Krisha only wondered as to why she was talking to this girl right now…At least not now…When all that she should be doing was CRYING…

That was when she felt little girl’s hand on her own hand ” Krisha,Your life is like the Umbrella…You made the wrong choice…chose wrong person…Like the umbrella takes on rain on itself….You took on the pains on yourself….But the most important thing is to dry umbrella…Let go of these memories”….while the girl said so,Krisha felt small thug on the pendant she held in her hands….” If u keep these memories locked inside…Then like umbrella…Your life will also STINK”…

Krisha suddenly saw up and for the first time saw the little girl…She had not observed but the little girl was really cute..with the best smile in the world….Krisha found herself smiling a bit…

She stood up and walked to the lake.Then she bent down and looked down…This time she could see her Face…She looked at pendant in her hand and then threw it into the lake…Suddenly She felt as if someone had taken a huge burden off her head…She felt light…At HEART!!!!

It was then that it suddenly dawned on her…” Hey but how did u know my name was Krisha…I never told you my name???””….She turned back to look at the girl…But the girl was not there…Only the morning mist flew past…Beyond that what Krisha saw was lying there on the garden bench…THE BLUE UMBRELLA!!!!

©Krishnaveni Balasubramanian

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